Bush the Offspring in La Crosse later today

George Bush the Offspring is scheduled to speak in La Crosse, Wisconsin, later today (Friday the 7th of May). King Daevid MacKenzie comments on some of the goings-on surrounding the event.

(text of item; please credit to King Daevid MacKenzie if your local station decides to have one of its own announcers voice the piece, or if a print or web publication uses it in text only. Thanks in advance.)

The municipality that George Bush the Offspring will ride his bus into today will not be the most tranquil of places on the planet. There used to be a beer commercial that described La Crosse and its environs as "God's Country," but that was 30 years ago, when that particular beer was still being brewed here, rather than the malted dishwater suds of the company that now inhabit that brewery. 30 years back, La Crosse also had a higher employment rate, relatively affordable health care and a much stronger economy, too, and nothing Bush the Offspring will say at Copeland Park or do once he returns to Washington will bring those back.A miracle worker George Bush the Offspring ain't.

Adding to the frustration will be the fact that the Offspring will be holding his rally at the Copeland Park baseball field at 5:00, thereby closing a stretch of one of La Crosse's busier thoroughfares at rush hour. According to the local birdcage liner, doing business as the La Crosse Tribune, already setting neighbors against each other is the policy of the county Republican Party on giving out tickets to the event. Andrew Mercil, a student at the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse campus, was allegedly denied a ticket for discussing the war on Iraq while waiting in line; the fact that Mercil is the president of the UW-L Campus Democrats probably played into the decision. La Crosse County Republican chairman Chris Muller only wants attendees, quoting, "with the best intentions in mind." It appears that Tanya Cooper of nearby Holmen had intentions that Muller would question; she claims her family was barred from attending because, although she did vote for Bush the Offspring in 2000, she refused to pay 15 bucks to join the Republican Party. Not everybody here feels Republican Party extortion should determine who does and doesn't see the Chief Executive of the U.S.A. in public.

Another party bound not to attend in person is Chip DeNure. Earlier this week, he leased a billboard sign that overlooks the parking lot for Ardie's Restaurant on Lang Drive, one of La Crosse's more popular eateries. The sign is also clearly visible from the parking lot across the street, which belongs to Menard's Plaza, home to a franchise of the home-furnishings chain and an IGA grocery, among other businesses. The sign reads, simply, "September 11, 2001 -- I believe Bush knew and let it happen on purpose. Authorised and paid for by Chip DeNure, La Crosse, 784-9771." (For those of you not listening locally, La Crosse is in area code 608, should you want to discuss the sign with Chip.) Sadly, the sign is quite a distance from Copeland Park, thus the Offspring is not likely to see it.

However, there is a silver lining to this dark cloud, should the thunderstorms in the weather forecast not wash out the whole sorry exercise in the first place. Whenever Bush the Offspring does take to the stage, both CBS Channel 8 and ABC Channel 19 will air the entire speech live, pre-empting noted propaganda ministers Dan Rather and Peter Jennings. Whether or not the NBC stations on Channel 13 and Channel 67 follow suit, I don't know, as both are out-of-towners. However, Channel 8's news department confirmed to me last night that, should John Kerry, Ralph Nader or the eventual Green Party nominee come to La Crosse and hold a rally starting at 5:00 on a weekday, both Channel 8 and Channel 19 will be legally bound to carry those entire speeches live as well. You Greens and Naderites listening now have your jobs cut out for you, dontcha?

If it doesn't get rained out, today's rally will certainly set a record. It'll be the largest audience of Wisconsinites and Minnesotans ever assembled to hear a Texas jackass bray.

King Daevid MacKenzie, for Independent Media Radio, from La Crosse Wisconsin.